


Side By Side - Luminescence

by Sugar_and_Salt



Series: Opposite & Side by Side [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, alternative universe, slight!angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-08 00:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5475842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugar_and_Salt/pseuds/Sugar_and_Salt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about two people seeing more in each other than anyone ever could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Side By Side - Luminescence

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, super-old story alarm!  
> I've already done some major correction in terms of spelling. If the grammar's still a little crooked... Bear with me, please? Or point out whatever annoys you and I'll run off to fix it! c:
> 
> Anyway, enjoy reading ♥

_  
  
  
I think I'm going crazy.  
And there's absolutely nothing funny about it._  
  
 

"Baekhyun Hyung~!", the deep voice of my best friend called out to me in a clumsy sing-song melody. I turned my head to the left, where I was greeted with the typical mess of hair and the twinkling eyes, looking at me attentively.  
"Are ya joining us for the movies later?"  
But his lips weren't moving.  
I blinked. Still there.  
"Baek?"  
I turned to the right, where Chanyeol gave me a slightly worried look. I hurried to jump into the one-sided conversation.  
"Ah, uhm, w-which movie?"  
"Mockingjay."  
I turned to my left again to check, while waving my hand dismissively.  
"Nah, I've already seen that one."  
"What?", I heard his voice gasp in an overly dramatic way, "You traitor! How could you? With whom did you betray me? Was it the teleportation kid?"  
No one there. To my left was no one.  
"Uhm, Baek...?"  
Back to the Chanyeol on my right.  
The only one. Yes.  
"Are you alright?" My laugh sounded fake, even to my own ears.  
"Yeah, sure. Just a little tired, I've been practicing a lot recently." I almost flinched when the giant patted my shoulder. "Man, don't overdo it. They'd be idiots not to choose you. If they won't, I'll throw away all of my future ambitions and form my own talent agency, just to employ you. And to make them regret it for the rest of their life." Even though I snorted in disbelief, I was endlessly grateful for his words. "Aaall of your ambitions - Gee, the world will have to thank me for one less homeless person on the streets.", I dryly said, but couldn't contain a little smile. Chanyeol saw that and understood it, being the best friend that he had been for so many years.  
When he had strolled out of my sight, I quickly went to the bathroom to splash some water onto my face. I looked into the mirror.  
My reflection was trembling. _But I wasn't._  
It was also averting it's gaze. _Which I didn't, either._  
Sighing, I threw away the crumpled paper towels and made my way to the next class.

I don't know when exactly it started. When reality began to drift away. At first it had only been minor things. Sometimes I would see a flickering from the corner of my eyes. Of course, there was nothing and I didn't think too much about it. I started to worry when more and more things didn't seem to be what I saw them like. Objects would have a different color, a different texture, and I was confused. After blinking a few times -or touching- they often returned to what they were supposed to look like. Maybe that should have been the point for me to do something about it.  
Recently I've begun to see whole persons that weren't there. Or didn't see persons that were there. I couldn't trust myself anymore.  
And it started to frighten me.

Of course, I didn't tell anybody. Since I'm a gifted one(even though only on the least dangerous Level 3), there would surely be consequences. If I was deemed not enough 'in-control' of my powers, I could easily end up with a home tutor, unable to attend a public school. Wouldn't want that to happen.  
Besides that I **was** in control. I was one of the best users in my after-classes. Using or repressing, directing or averting - controlling the power of Light came natural to me.  
It wasn't about my powers, but still, something was wrong. And I began to fear that the problem was originating from my own head, digging its' roots deeper to fill all the space they could find.

I couldn't keep it from Chanyeol for long, it was impossible. Still, I tried to talk myself out of it by stating I was tired or just a little out of it. But it became a daily routine and when I one day snapped at him aggressively not to bother me, he stepped down from voicing out his worries. I can still feel him watching me attentively, though, from close as well as afar. Like a silent guardian angel. Still, the silence won't be kept up for much longer; I just knew him as he knew me.  
The other person that noticed a change in my behavior was actually unexpected.  
 

* * *

  
Every second weekend I would join my good friend Suho in tutoring the afterclasses. Since I have a gift for healing and worked at the hospital, I started to give first aid courses. Though some might find them a bit... extraordinary.  
There was only a rather low number of gifted ones and therefore the possibilities of education were considerably rare. Even though most gifted ones in the country were practically forced to move to the capital city in order to get in control of their gift (and stay in sight of the government), the total number in Seoul didn't even surpass the 30. Take away the people that were too old or too young, and only very few remain capable of proper teaching. Even Suho and I were pretty young for holding a teaching position, but our level of control was sufficient.  
So while Suho taught the kids all sort of things about controlling their gifts, working together with everyone individually, I made it my task to teach them about using their powers in emergency situations. Many only deemed their power as something to move, to destroy, but it was amazing how versatile most talents could be. One of the elder students(who happens to also be a good friend of mine, but that's beside the point), for example, controlled ice. Together we worked out he was able to not only cool down the body temperature; he was also able to stop severe bleeding if frozen carefully, and could probably even freeze a complete body to prevent it from dying. If it came down to it.  
So, overall, I spent quite some thoughts on every individual power and tried to get the most out of everyone. I dare say most students were genuinely attentive and interested - grateful that someone who shares their burden leads them for a while.

So today was one of those afternoons at the residential high school in the special training hall. Everything went on as usual - After a short briefing, everyone got to their warm-ups and went through their personal routines, chatting all the while, when they deemed Suho at a long-enough distance. The atmosphere was one of oddly peaceful chaos. I felt an occasional gush of wind, saw the flickering of fire and smelled the distinct smoke created by the teleportation user, who was literally all over the place.  
Still, there was something missing. Or, more accurately, a certain someone.  
My eyes scanned the room to find the dark-haired boy sitting hunched at one of the tables in the corner of the halls that were usually used during the breaks.  
Seeing Baekhyun always caused a twitch of guilt to form in my stomach. He was fantastic, his level of control incomparable to the others. This normally qualifies him greatly for taking first aid lessons, but I just couldn't come up with a useful way to use his power. Other than leading trapped people the way out, that is. He could probably go into laser therapy one day, but that was nothing short of dangerous and should not be attempted without real medical knowledge, so we mutually agreed on staying away from it.  
Therefore, finishing his routine quickly, Baekhyun was usually without any occupation for the most time. This resulted in him wandering around aimlessly, assisting others as well as teasing them in turn. His vivid nature brought life into the room and he just had a thing for people, connecting easily to anyone.  
I must admit that I've always had an eye on him. Not in a creepy way, though. I myself don't have any trouble in advancing on people, but Baekhyun's outspokenness that more often than not tip-toed between being mildly cheeky to downright shameless was a completely different league. Somehow he still got away with his attitude, though. It probably helped that he was gorgeous, sporting a pair of pretty brown eyes that were accentuated by a varying amount of black eyeliner, a cute nose, silky black hair and a slim stature. But deep down I knew the true reason he was forgiven all his antics was his good nature. Everything was just playing around; when it came down to it Baekhyun became serious in an instant, solving the problem at hand efficiently.  
Not even I myself am sure when simple acknowledgement turned into this small infatuation. It wasn't anything serious, but I did have my eyes trained on him whenever the opportunity presented itself.  
That's why I didn't fail to notice the change. It must have happened over the last two months. At first I assumed he had a bad day. But after two weeks it would only become worse. And worse. The person that now sat at the table, blankly staring into space, didn't resemble Baekhyun at all. Hair unkempt, no trace of any make-up and a simple T-shirt instead of his usual stylish clothing. Still, the most unsettling difference was the increasing dullness reflected in his eyes. It probably sounds stupid since he's controlling light, but his eyes used to shine with emotion. A sparkle of mischief, a flicker of concern; never had his eyes been so void of anything. The sight was more than painful. But what to do? No one wants a teacher to worry, right? But I couldn't just leave him, either. Obviously his friends had distanced themselves, presumably after Baekhyun lashing out at them.  
So I strode over to him, sitting at the opposite side of the table without much of a plan.  
He didn't show any sign of acknowledgement, and the seconds turned to minutes of silence. Patiently I waited for a reaction, but nothing came. After a really long time he lifted his head and looked at me through his black fringe warily. I opted for a simple: "Hey."  
Still I received this wary glance, which confused me.  
"Hey.", he answered hesitatingly.  
"Already finished your tasks?"  
"...Yeah."  
"Don't feel like annoying Kai today?"  
I saw his eyes flitting to a spot above my left shoulder. I followed his gaze. Nothing.  
Then he quickly looked back at me.  
"Nah.", he said, lightly shaking his head.  
For a few seconds he just stared at me, then he lowered his gaze to the table again, seemingly having an inner conflict about something.  
It was more than weird. Something was definitely off. I could literally feel the uneasiness coming off of him in waves. Still, I wasn't sure where to start.  
Finally, I broke the silence.  
"So, you're job-less right now?", I lightheartedly asked. Baekhyun tilted his head lightly, before nodding shortly.  
"Then let's go out for a coffee and some cake.", I announced, getting up and righting my clothes. It was obvious that the black-haired boy was reluctant, but he still got up and followed me without a word.  
 

* * *

  
I really thought I was in for a lecture. Wondering why Suho would have sent Lay to talk to me. But when we settled into a nearby coffee shop and got our order after an agonizing silence, he spoke up without further ado, in this calm and soft voice of his:  
"You want to tell me what's going on?" I was a little startled, suddenly put on the spot like that. So I shook my head rather vehemently, preparing myself for the upcoming lecture. But there was no such thing. Instead he nodded in thoughtful understanding and started to pick at his slice of strawberry cake. He hummed in approval at the taste.  
"You want to try?", he asked friendly. Almost blushing at the couple-like setting, I politely refused.  
And then Lay just sparked on a conversation, that started out rather one-sidedly, which didn't seem to bother him.  
While I was not sure whether I was dealing with another one of my hallucinations earlier, I was now 100% sure that my first-aid tutor Lay was sitting across me. While he told me about his current education at the hospital, I took in his features, observed his hands purposefully slicing the cake and propping it into his mouth. All the while he was only briefly looking at it, though, his eyes rarely straying from me. I always thought he had a rather unique appearance. Not boyishly gorgeous like Kai or of aristocratic beauty like Sehun. Instead he had a slightly exotic, reassuring and calming, but also kinda unapproachable charm. A strange mix of maturity and youthfulness, where everything seemed soft; from the expression in his eyes, his brown strands that slightly curled at the end to his beautiful lips.  
He was just naturally enticing.  
I didn't even feel a tidbit of guilt over admitting this - Who doesn't appreciate beauty? Besides that he was pretty much my age as he was only one year older, and technically didn't even teach me, so no, not gross at all.  
And even though I would react annoyed if anyone was to approach me out of pity or whatever, being with Lay put me at ease, somehow. Maybe he was using his healing powers discreetly.  
Overall I started to warm up to the conversation quickly, not paying attention to my shifting surroundings. Not to the calico cat that curled itself into a ball on the windowsill, not to Kai, who sat next to Lay for a while, nodding along, not to the color-shifting tablecloth. I only focused on Lay, talking animatedly about my wish to become an idol and the upcoming auditions I trained so hard for.  
And Lay just smiled, never mentioning anything about my weird behavior earlier.  
It came as a slight surprise to me how openly he talked about himself. Up to that moment we had only had shallow conversations in-between, so I didn't realize I knew close to nothing about him, despite (not really) being his student for such a long time.  
After one and a half hour of talking I came to the conclusion that we would make good friends. I even entertained the thought of telling him about my little problem, but in the end I didn't want to drive him away, thinking I was crazy or cheap for easily giving out this personal problems after a short, light-hearted conversation.  
Still, it had been a welcome distraction from the wobbly mess that was my daily life.  
 

* * *

  
I was delighted to see the spark of life back in his brown eyes. Whatever had seemed to weigh him down soon vanished and he immersed himself in a conversation with me. It was nice to get to know the person behind the sassy attitude a little more. His energy and passion were a little infective and it was hard to imagine him being the same person I saw in the Gym hall, looking distant and frightened. When we returned to class for the obligatory end-speech and Suho half-heartedly scolded us for skipping, I waved Baekhyun goodbye, watching him leave with his giant best friend.  
Maybe everything was going to be alright.  
In retrospect I was a fool not to prod any further.  
 

* * *

  
It was the moment I had been waiting for. Finally my number was called out and I tried to walk with my usual confidence when I positioned myself in front of the judges.  
To my dismay it had been a more than bad day so far, but I wouldn't let it stop me. With the most dazzling smile and all the energy I could muster in a vain attempt to be my usual self, I introduced myself; trying really hard to focus on the right person in front of me and not minding all the others I could see.  
I talked shortly about my musical education and interests and was met with mild ignorance, which was probably normal, considering how many stories they must've heard that day.  
One of the judges finally looked up from his papers, asking in a slightly wary voice:  
"It says you're a gifted one. Is that true?"  
I gulped, but nodded. "I'm a level 3 with very tight control. Since my power includes light manipulation, I could imagine using it for the job, for exa-" "You think you can handle the pressure? Our agency doesn't have any babysitters for gifted ones, and normal people already tend to give into the stress." I know a shadow had passed my face upon his mention of 'normal' people, but I did my best to keep smiling. "Yes, Sir. My institute will hand in the results of my regular examination and assessment."  
Reluctantly, he nodded. "Well, first we should hear what you got, right?"  
Phew. That was the moment. I inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm myself. I would have loved to close my eyes, just to make sure nothing weird could distract me. But if I wanted to impress the judges, I also had to give them a taste of my stage presence, so open eyes it was.  
When I started to softly sing to the tune of one of my favorite songs, called "Miracles in December", I took pride in the way I could keep my voice steady, void of trembling. I sang with all my heart, trying to convey the heavy feelings with my voice, my body, my whole being. It came easily to me, being a person full of emotions. The weird illusions were tugging at the sides of my vision, but I blanked them out as much as I could, reducing them to a blur of movements and colors that were irrelevant at the moment. The judges let me sing the whole song, which I hoped was a good sign. When the last tunes softly rounded the song, I was delighted to see one of the three judges cracking a smile and taking a final note, before looking up again. Then she stood up and came around the table, stepping closer to me, offering her hand with that same, nice smile.  
When I bowed, mumbling my thanks and tried to take her hand, it vanished the moment I tried to touch it. And it left me with two male judges, eyeing me silently from their spot. The one that had pestered me about my gift, gave a short sigh full of resignation and lightly shook his head, making a huge cross onto the papers with a scratching noise that cut the silence brutally.

I had barely left the building when the hot tears started to fill my eyes. Fuck. I ruined it. Just because of this stupid illusions. I would probably never get the chance again. Surely it would spread in the music business like a wild fire - 'If a gifted one applies be careful - it could be that retarded one that tried to audition for us, haha. He was talking to people that weren't there; totally nuts.'  
Full of anger I wiped my tears to smudge my carefully applied eyeliner and ruffled my hair in frustration. Who cared if I looked like a mess? I was a mess, through and through. The worst was that the illusions didn't even stop now. I saw stones in the pavement that had illogical colors and the two people at the coffee shop table looked like the judges from before. A little girl was flinging a yellow umbrella, staggering around in her raincoat, even though the sun shone brightly. I balled my fists tightly when a woman passed by me, walking her dog and looking exactly like that female judge from before. I felt as if my own brain was taunting me, making fun of me. Aggressively I stalked past everyone and decided to take a different route home; one that was rarely used and where I could stay clear of all the derogatory people that weren't even there.  
The path I took was a rather popular route for those who liked to take a relaxing stroll on their bike or a walk with their kids, far from any buildings and shops. Still, it was rather deserted at this time of the day. The tiny stones made scrunching noises with every slow and gloomy step I took.  
To my right and left was grass, where I saw the flickering of insects that probably weren't there in the first place. I needed to do something. It couldn't go on like that.  
I squeezed past the passenger-barrier, when a sudden flash of colors invaded my brain with a slicing pain, and everything lost itself in a blur of colors, lazily swimming into each other, like looking through a puddle of oil. I pressed a hand to my head and squeezed my eyes shut. The pain ebbed away and when I opened them again, the bright green color had returned to the grass. Frustration sank into me and filled me with a hot flurry of emotions; a mix of disappointment, anger and desperation. I crouched down and curled into a ball. The tears wouldn't stop, blurring the traitorous surroundings even more - I just couldn't believe I was going to lose my mind. There was the faint sound of a voice calling out to me. But there was no reason for me to look up - I probably wouldn't see anyone standing there, anyway.  
I also didn't see the train.  
But I felt the impact.  
And then, finally, a steady black flooded my vision, bringing everything to an abrupt halt.

The black was still there. What was new was the soaring pain in my ribs. I was lying on a bed, but I couldn't remember returning home. Had I gotten myself wasted? No.  
After convincing myself of the inevidable need to get up sooner or later, I opened my eyes, blinking repeatedly to get rid of the sleepiness.  
A white ceiling.  
Blink. With black stripes.  
Blink. With tiny black dots.  
Blink. White again.  
Well, I was still crazy, good to see. Haha. See.  
...Okay, not funny. I seemed to be in a hospital. But why? Had they turned me in? At least I wasn't wearing a white jacket. And the room also seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary. All white walls and white sheets and white door( ~~With the occasional patterns I saw~~ ). To my right my mobile phone vibrated on the nightstand. Before I could even attempt to grasp for it, though, the door opened and when I was greeted with the familiar face, I was absolutely sure I was seeing things again.  
"Baekhyun.", Lay spoke softly, sitting next to the bed on a (checkered) white chair. Still fully in my sleepy stupor, I heard myself mumbling: "Lay? Are you... Lay?", before I could help myself. I had never seen Lay making such a conflicted face, mirroring worry and sadness. Great, now I was even disappointing my illusions. With a sigh I closed my eyes again. But suddenly I felt a warm hand on mine.  
"Baekhyun, hey. ...Baek." Reluctantly, I opened my eyes again.  
"You're a persistent one, aren't you?"  
A dimpled smile. "I try."  
The touch convinced me more and more that it was indeed my Chinese first-aid teacher sitting next to me.  
"Is this... The hospital you work in?", I asked in a weak mumble, still trying to make sense of things. "Yes, that's why I'm here, wearing all white and stuff.", he shrugged with a smile.  
Yeah, sure. That had been a rather stupid question. Wake up, Baekhyun.  
"Then... Why am I here? Wait..." Something was tugging at the back of my memory. "I don't remember... But... Something hit me...?" Slowly, more details filled my blurred mind. "Wait, something hit me. Oh god - was it a train?" Lay's faint smile faded and he lightly bit his lip as he made an affirmative noise. "But I feel kinda fine... Did you heal me?"  
Lay seemed to grow even more uneasy, but held my gaze.  
"Well, yes. But it's not thanks to me that you got away that well." His grip on my hand got a little tighter. "Someone saved you in the last second. In return, he got injured."  
I gasped, not knowing what to say. My head felt light and empty, growing heavier as the words sank in. Someone got injured. Because of me. "D-do I know him?"  
A shake of his head.  
I didn't feel any relief at all at his statement. An innocent stranger had gotten himself hurt because of me.  
"How... How badly is he... I mean..." Lay started to rub his fingers across the back of my hand absentmindedly as he spoke carefully, obviously not trying to startle me even more. Still, he didn't keep the truth from me.  
"He is alive. But he hit his head and didn't wake up yet. He is in the room next to you at the very moment, sleeping soundly."  
There were no tears this time. My entire body was still weakened and felt as if all the liquid in my body had been burned out. I couldn't even cry for this stranger that had risked his life. There was nothing but emptiness.  
Lay shuffled closer to pull me into a hug. I didn't resist. But I didn't return it, either.  
"You shouldn't comfort me.", I mumbled into his shoulder, that smelled of hospital, but also carried a hint of something fruity. "You should comfort the family of that man. I don't deserve it."  
Lay only held onto me a bit tighter, making a shushing noise. "I comfort whomever is important to me. And you can need it, as well.", he simply stated.  
"How can I be important to you?"  
My voice was muffled when I let my forehand sink onto his shoulder. "We barely know each other. You didn't even teach me anything, since my power is so damn useless." I felt a strong hand patting my head and steadily stroking my hair. "No gift in this world is useless and you know that."  
"Light just can't help anyone, right? I could still start working at a construction site or something, turning the lights on and off." What was usually some kind of inside joke between Yeol and me sounded awfully pathetic when it came out like this, choked by my sobs. When had I started crying?  
"No more talking now.", Lay just shushed me one more time, continuing to stroke my hair, letting his hand wander across my back, rubbing circles slowly. "For now, just try to calm down and get some sleep. Your body has been healed completely. The pain you're currently experiencing is just a phantom pain, caused by your brain. Tomorrow you're ready to leave. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?" I just gave a weak affirmative sound. As always, Lay was on spot - my 'body' was healed.  
For the rest of the evening, I didn't say another word and let myself be showered with gentle affection I was sure I didn't deserve at all. Still, at some point sleep came over me, somewhere in between warm hands and a softly hummed tune.

When I woke up, the sun had already risen. It was probably around noon. Not wasting any time, I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Time to leave. I would definitely not stay here for longer than absolutely necessary. Shortly I took in my surroundings, located my stuff and got ready. In no more than 5 minutes I was ready to go and quietly closed the door behind me. Still, there was no way I could leave without visiting my rescuer. My hand on the door handle trembled slightly, but I entered the room nevertheless.  
On the bed, connected to several machines, lay a man, probably around my age. His features were very handsome and even though most of him was hidden beneath a ~~red~~ white blanket, I could already tell he was overall gorgeous. No one was here to visit him. Maybe his family was working? I wondered whether he had a lot of friends, maybe even a lover. There lay this handsome stranger whom I knew nothing about. Yet, I managed to destroy his life, just like that. No one could predict when or even if he'd ever wake up.  
I stood a meter from his bed, not daring to come closer. My body started to shake again. Instinctively I wished for Lay's strong and warm presence to return; but the events of the previous night seemed almost as surreal as any other illusion and I began to wonder whether they had ever taken place.  
I gripped my shoulders tightly to prevent them from trembling. Somewhere along the way my bag had fallen to the ground.  
Just in that moment the door behind me opened and Lay came in, a flash of relief gracing his features. There was nothing to be relieved about. It didn't make sense. I was still there, still hallucinating, and the stranger was still in a coma.  
Lay didn't approach me easily this time around. Instead he held a respectable distance, and searched for my eyes. "Baekhyun." My eyes flitted up to meet his.  
"Baek. I think I might know what troubles you." I felt a cold panic rising up my throat, constricting it.  
"I read in the report, that you have stood on the tracks. But you didn't want to attempt suicide, did you?" Rapidly I shook my head, grasping my arms more tightly. Lay nodded, yet he was void of any visible satisfaction over his right guess. Unreadable.  
"I thought so. Piecing everything together... Could it be that something is wrong with your vision?" I didn't respond. There was nothing to say.  
Yet, when he took one step towards me, I unconsciously inched back one.  
He seemed to sense my instability and hurriedly continued.  
"Maybe there is a problem with your gift, seeing as-" " **No**!", I intervened adamantly, inching another step back. "Everything is fine with my gift. It - it's something else. I -..."  
I couldn't say it. It's my head. My mind.  
Lay took another step. I did, too.  
"Look, I can feel that your unsettled and on the verge of panic. But I can assure you, the problem does not lie in your sanity. I could feel problems like that." My next step let my knees get in contact with the patient's bed, reminding me on the damage I had done. Lay was being nothing but nice, but there was no way I would drag more people into this. Hastily I reached for my bag and aimed to rush past him, but he firmly grabbed me by my shoulders. Actually I could have fought him off easily, but my mind was currently in a state of utter chaos.  
"Baekhyun, look at me. If you feel that something is wrong, that something is off, if you need _anything_ ; send me your location over KakaoTalk. You don't need to write anything, just send me the location and I'll come to you as fast as I can. Don't move away. Just hold on for a little, and I'll be there. You got that? I don't care if you just want company, if you want me to get you anything, I'll come running. Do you understand that?" My eyes met his for a second, before I fought myself free and ran off, ignoring the shouts behind me.

Just to be sure, I took a bus home.  
Just to be sure, I asked the bus driver if he'd stop at my station.  
Just to be sure, I didn't make eye-contact with anyone.  
When I arrived at my flat, everything was dark. Chanyeol wasn't home, which I was thankful for. I practically ran into my room, slamming the door shut and leaning against it with my back. All the way I had been thinking. Thinking and thinking. About the boy who now lay in a coma. About the reason for my hallucinations. Whether I was too stressed, too fragile, too weak to handle my life the way everybody else could.  
Maybe Lay was right. Maybe my gift was somehow poisoning my brain. But how could you possibly run away from light? Light was fast.  
In a sudden movement, I angrily shut my curtains, leaving my room illuminated in the soft red light of the lamp on my nightstand. To be honest I never slept without a lamp on. Darkness made me feel weak, powerless. So I stood frozen, in the middle of my room, staring at the lamp, casting high shadows on the wall. The shadows began to flicker. Then I saw more and more small shadows, rapidly moving.  
And something inside of me clicked, somehow spurred on by fear, anger and disgust.

A few moments later I used my trembling hands to type in my pin and open my KakaoTalk app.  
 

* * *

  
Before I could react, Baekhyun was gone. He absolutely shouldn't be left alone now, but neither did I know his address, nor his close friends. I didn't even know whether he would go home now, or maybe to his parent's house,... Or to his lover's. I didn't even know anything about Baekhyun.  
So I called the first person that came to my mind.  
We didn't even get past the greeting, before Suho received a message from one of his students, Sehun, asking to meet up with Kai to discuss something important. As expected, Suho couldn't say no to one of his precious students. Even though I was getting impatient, we would meet Kai, who was a good friend of Baekhyun and therefore might be of more help than Suho, who could only offer me his telephone number.  
Since I had coaxed Baekhyun into exchanging our contact data during that night at the hospital, I already had that much.  
It was in the middle of a conversation, that I felt my mobile phone vibrating.  
Baekhyun. He really did sent me a location. I opened it as fast as my phone could process it, tapping the buttons harshly. An apartment for students, near the Campus. Without hesitating I got up to leave, excusing myself curtly and signalizing Suho, that I wouldn't need his help after all. Before I knew it I was on my way, determined not to let him get away again.

The sight was heart-wrenching. Baekhyun was a mess, crouching down against the wall, curling himself into a ball and gripping his shoulders tightly. His room was completely dark and the few rays of artificial light I let in when opening the door shone onto various shards of glass that were scattered across the room, now blinking like the eyes of a dozen cats. Before he could manage to look up from his position on the floor, I had already crouched down next to him, carelessly swishing the nearest glass shards away with my shoes. This time around he didn't hesitate, neither did he try to run away. Instead he fell into my arms, clutching my shirt desperately. For a while, neither of us said anything and there was no noise besides his choked sobbing. When he did say something, it was so quiet I almost missed it.  
"Make it stop...", he whispered brokenly. No matter how gentle I tried to hold him, or sooth him, his trembling wouldn't stop.  
"I'm so s-scared..."  
Even tough acting calmly, I was at a loss inside. So I figured I might as well ask.  
"What can I do?" I could already feel his hot tears seeping through my shirt.  
"Can you... Tell me what's real? I just c-can't tell anymore-"  
I looked up to take in my surroundings and took a deep breath.  
"We're in your room. It's pretty dark in here, since the curtains are closed. We're sitting on the floor, next to your bed. There are shards of glass everywhere, because you probably broke something-"  
"My lamp.", his whisper interrupted me.  
"-Yeah. Now you say it, I think I can see the remains of the lamp. Besides that your room seems medium-tidy, and there are a few plush animals on your bed and a bag with groceries next to the door." That was all I could see in the semi-darkness of the room.  
A few seconds of silence followed.  
"Okay.", he then mumbled repeatedly. "Okay... Everything's normal."  
I didn't ask him what he had seen or was still seeing in here. He should focus on the reality only in that state.  
Instead I gently held him half an arm's length away from me to search for his eyes.  
"You shouldn't stay here. Come over to my place for now. I'll cook us dinner, how does that sound?"  
Baekhyun grinned weakly, his eyes still shining with unshed tears.  
"Like a bad pick-up line."  
"I'll think of a better one when we're there. Now come on.", I promised, dragging him up to his feet and out of the suffocating room.  
 

* * *

  
He really made dinner and it was simple, but delicious nonetheless. Since my hands were still shaking quite badly I took a long time to finish, but Lay was waiting patiently. We hardly spoke, until he led me to the living room, where he sat down next to me and asked me the first question that wasn't food-related.  
"What do you see in here?"  
I gulped, but looked around nevertheless, trying very hard to concentrate, causing me a light headache.  
"Your flat is pretty bright and your lamps look very fancy. Your... Your furniture is mainly red and white, and everything looks really tidy. The carpets are dark grey. There are piles of books and CD's. And you have... a guitar...?", I closed hesitatingly, half sure that I was drifting into illusions again. Again, Lay touched my hand. He seemed to be the type to use body-contact for comfort. Though his smile had a similar effect on me.  
"Almost perfect.", he chuckled lightly, "Indeed I do have a guitar. Well, the carpets are actually more beige than grey, but you're mainly right."  
He then turned serious again. "Now tell me about it. When did it start?"  
So I told him. There was no way out now, so I told him everything. He suggested to go see a doctor, but I still didn't want to. Call me stupid, but a selfish part of myself couldn't stop thinking about my possibly ruined future. To which Lay rightfully retorted that my remaining future might turn out to be shorter than expected if this went on any further. Still, he remained understanding and promised to figure something out with me.  
He didn't even ask me whether I wanted to sleep alone or not, naturally leading me into his room and leaving me to sleep on his bed, while he pushed his sofa next to it. That way I would have my own bed, but he was still close to me. I didn't question anything and even refrained myself from any cheeky remark. Secretly I was just grateful for his actions, and wouldn't want to drive him away (again).  
It came to no surprise that I was in for a long night(not in that way, though, don't be weird!). After asking me, Lay left the curtains open for a bit so some of the city's lights would illuminate the room dimly. Even though considerably unsettled by any light, sleeping in complete darkness was no option for me that night.  
It was probably purely due to exhaustion that I fell asleep rather quickly. Having another person in the room that wasn't remarkably close to me was a bit awkward at first and I just hoped I wouldn't snore or anything. His bed smelled foreign as well, but in a good way; like Lay himself did. After shuffling around again and again, it was probably around 3 A.M, when I first woke up with ragged breathing and shaking hands, cold sweat running down my neck and my hands grasped the blanket tightly as I looked around. I couldn't even place whether the room was the same as it was before. Had there always been that big clock on the wall? On the sofa next to me was nothing but a messily spread out blanket.  
I felt tiny when my quiet voice broke the suffocating silence in the room.  
"...Lay?" The rustling of fabric was heard.  
"L-Lay?", I tried again. This time I got a sleepy "Mmh?" in response. I felt truly bad for waking him up, but...  
"I-I can't see you... But you're still there, right?"  
No amount of trying to sound not too hysterical could erase the stupidity in this question. But still, I couldn't see...  
...Until I felt a touch on my hand. I almost jumped in shock, but the warm feeling of this particular hand had begun to become familiar.  
"Yes. I'm still here. You see me now?" His voice sounded sleepy, yet bared no accusation or annoyance. Already a little less panicked, I tightened my grip on his fingers.  
"Yes."  
"Good. Let's go back to sleep, Baekhyun..."  
Secretly I was reluctant to let go of him again, but it seemed that I had misread his signs, for when I had lied back down, his hand sought mine again, not breaking the touch until both of us fell asleep.  
Whenever I awoke again, I would direct all of my attention to the warm hand that lay near mine, carefully exploring every slightly calloused and every soft spot, familiarizing myself even more with them, until I dared to close my eyes again.

When I awoke the next morning, I was surprised to find myself feeling much better. It was still some time left before I'd have to leave for university, so I turned to lie on my side and observed the sleeping Lay. Seeing a person sleeping had a really intimate feeling to it, more so than watching someone change or something - At least I felt that way. People that were sleeping peacefully, often revealed an expression you weren't even aware they were capable of during the day. Well, sure, sometimes you just looked like a mess(Yes, I'm looking at you, Yeollie).  
Lay was still fascinating, even when asleep. His tousled brown strands were partly pressed flat into a mess due to the many fluffy cushions he had sunken into. For some reason I wasn't sure whether I found that cute or sexy. Maybe both.  
My eyes were wandering over his facial features, when a vibrating phone made him stir. Not missing a beat, I averted my gaze as if I had been scanning through his book titles the whole time.  
Lay grabbed for the source of the annoying noise and blindly received the call, holding the phone to his ear, and blinking to get the sleep out of his eyes.  
Even I heard the voice on the other end.  
"Baek?! Finally, man! What the hell is wrong with you?!"  
Oh. Turned out to be my phone. And there was Chanyeol on the line. Whose messages I may or may not have answered ever since I got out of the casting.  
"Mhwhat?", Lay mumbled confused, rubbing his eyes a little more.  
"What, 'what'? Don't you 'what' me - Wait, you aren't Baekhyun."  
"Err... no?"  
"Oh, WHAT THE HELL. Don't tell me he turned me down for a One Night Stand!", his loud voice crackling painfully into Lay's ears, who held it a few inches away from his ear.  
"Ah, don't misunderstand,", Chanyeol added as an afterthought, "We're not together or something - Baekhyun is sexy, free and single, no harm done, and now GET HIM ON THE PHONE. Like, RIGHT NOW. I absolutely don't care whether he's awake, sleeping, or stark naked - RIGHT. NOW."  
Chanyeol's (admittedly justified) rambling went on for a while, but he finally hung up when I promised to tell everything later, swearing on my whole make-up collection.  
By the point I was finished, Lay had already gotten back from the shower.  
We mutually agreed on talking about everything in the afternoon; including Chanyeol this time. Still, I'd probably stay for a few days. For now I had to leave, though, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I styled my hair and rambled until the shirt I lent from Lay was to my liking. He even had a black kohl liner for me, stating one of his friends forgot it there('friend', aha. Noting that one).  
Also for the first time in months, my reflection in the mirror flashed the familiar, self-confident smile.

_And that's how I began living together with Lay._  
  


* * *

 

 

"You've gotta be kidding me!", Chanyeol broke out, almost sweeping our drinks off the table as he leaned forward to give me a half-judging, half-incredulous look.  
Lay looked calm as ever, sipping his Chai Latte, obviously aware of the fact that Chanyeol's whole emotional outbreak was directed towards me only. Well, thanks for the support. Not. I had the decency to feel and look a little guilty over not telling him. Chanyeol gave an exasperated sigh.  
"Baek, you should have told me that earlier, so we could work out something together. It's obviously connected to your gift." Even though still obligated to looking guilty I couldn't repress my stubborn streak.  
"No, it's not."  
"Of course it is!"  
"I can control my power very well."  
"But Baek, you're _seeing_ things. Have you never heard of things like mirages produced by a certain way of directing light?" I blinked.  
"You mean like in a desert, due to heat?", Lay threw in with an unreadable tone. I wondered whether he already suspected something like that. My far-too-tall friend nodded vigorously, making his wild mess of hair flip around.  
"Exactly. It must be something like that!"  
Getting confronted with it like that made me feel pretty stupid for not realizing it myself. Fighting against the blush that crept up my cheeks I tried to save my last pride.  
"Still, that doesn't make sense at all! Why am I able to control it so well, yet am unable to stop the illusions?"  
Both men fell into a thoughtful silence. "Is there something off in this room, Baekhyun?", Lay asked me rather quietly.  
He never said things in a way that could offend me. He didn't say: 'Are you hallucinating right now?'. Instead he asked what was off about the room. Small actions like that went well appreciated by me.  
I took a look around. "Uhm... Maybe...", I mumbled, still kinda ashamed to openly talk about everything. Setting down his drink, Lay nodded. "Can you try to manually 'retreat' your gift? So maybe things change?"  
I tried. Taking in a few deep breaths I closed my eyes and called out to any form of light that might not be natural. There was a minimal unsettling feeling, but other than that there was nothing I could grasp. As if the quiet tingling in my stomach was out of reach. Still, I tried. And opened my eyes again to look around. After a while I looked back between my friends.  
"Are the curtains seriously bright pink and yellow?"  
Chanyeol chuckled. "Unfortunately yes, but I can see how you would-"  
"But it doesn't match the red walls at all!"  
His laughter died abruptly and he looked kinda uneasy.  
"Uhm, that's probably because-"  
"Wait, Chanyeol.", Lay intervened, turning to me.  
"So if you know the walls aren't red, can you change their appearance now?"  
I tried to the point of getting a headache. "I... I don't know. I've had red, yellow, creme and violet so far. Oh, and a horrible green. Seriously, if this goes on I'll become blind due to bad interior choices."  
Chanyeol smiled, even though there was nothing funny about the situation. It was his way of putting me at ease.  
"So the fact is...", Lay began, "Your gift is somehow messing with you. It could be due to anything, really. The health research on that field has been considerably low so far... Maybe some form of stress or extreme emotions have caused it-", he held up a hand to silence me, before I could even attempt to interrupt him, "But it could as well be any kind of infection or even a problem with your gift itself. There have been cases where the gift was rather self-destructive. Still, I doubt that this applies to you."  
I gulped. If the enemy was a part of yourself, what in the world was I supposed to do?  
A light shake of my head dispersed that thought.  
"I don't think it's due to stress or anything like that. I haven't been particularly stressed, neither extremely angry, frustrated or anything, really."  
They both didn't argue with me on that which I was grateful for. No one liked people who tried to blame everything on stress to get rid of the problem and instead put even more pressure on the troubled person.  
"Okay Baek, you should go see a doctor and get a thorough check-up. I'm not saying you should mention all the symptoms, but it somehow has to be done."  
"I know someone who'll examine you without making a fuss. He's a friend of mine, a senior at the hospital."  
With both of them looking at me in anticipation, I finally relented with a sigh.  
"Fine."  
The two genuine smiles I received in response encouraged me in my decision.  
"But I'll still attend all my lectures and stuff."  
"Of course you will!", Chanyeol chimed in, "Without you I'll fail history. I'll be directly by your side to watch after you. Nope, don't - resistance is futile." It seemed that today was ' Just interrupt Baekhyun, we know what he's going to say anyway'-day. I huffed.  
"I'll just pick you up at Lay's home then, okay? It's better if you stay with him for a while anyway, seeing as I'm, well... Me.", Chanyeol said, rubbing his neck sheepishly. At first I was confused, then I remembered him saying that common mirages were often intensified due to heat. And we all knew Chanyeol's trouble in getting his gift under control.  
Since he was on level 1, it was highly approved of the school that he'd get a roommate on level 3, to keep a good eye on him. Usually it wasn't common to have two gifted ones rooming, but coupling an unstable 1 with a stable 3 was the safest way to go. Probably. I had just been happy when our application was approved without further ado. Anyways, I could see where this could become a problem now. So I nodded in understanding.  
"Yeah, probably... If that is okay with you, Lay?"  
I received a bright smile in return. "Sure. I'd be delighted by your company."  
"W-why so formal?", I retorted a little nervously, nudging him in the side.  
Chanyeol just gave him a blank stare.  
"De' **light** 'ed. Seriously, Lay? Seriously?"

As promised I continued to attend school, with Chanyeol by my side. More often than not I grasped his forearm lightly. It made me feel a little handicapped, but both of us played along well, so that no suspicions arose. However cheerfully Chanyeol would take insults, if it came to me he'd protect me fiercely, not holding back his true, fiery nature.  
It was the same for me, though - No one was allowed to go against my friends. Well, unlike him I also didn't just take whatever shit people tried to give me.  
I also fulfilled my side of the promise and regularly visited the doctor Lay sent me to. He was a friendly-looking young man who went by the name of Yesung. Since the examinations were kinda unofficial it was always difficult for him to find time out of his schedule, but we managed to meet on an irregular basis.  
I underwent all sorts of examinations. Sometimes he would take  
blood samples or take allergy tests, on other days we purely talked about myself and how the development of my gift had happened throughout my life. It was a tedious process for both of us, since there was absolutely no clue on where to start.  
If I'd ever get healthy again, I would make sure to do everything in my power to show my gratitude to the young doctor.

After my lectures or examinations I would mostly return to Lay's place. Occasionally Chanyeol took me somewhere, but I didn't want to burden him even more by literally clinging onto him all day, so I kindly refused mostly. If I'd feel especially bored, though, he would come over to Lay's place to hang out a bit.  
Yes, Lay's place had become my second home now. I didn't feel awkward anymore and always anticipated his return. That made me feel like either an eager puppy or a housewife, but oh well.  
Lay was a rather busy person, spending most of his days at the hospital and a lot of his nights at evening classes, trying to belatedly achieve his graduation.  
He told me one evening that he had dropped out of school very early to pursue his medical training and put his gift to good use. But to really be able to become a doctor, he had to study and hence needed to graduate formally first.  
Even though along the way there had been a lot of special regulations due to his gift.  
His story was interesting and the idea of having a full-time job at an age that early seemed kinda exciting to me. Especially considering you could actually help people. Still, I knew it wasn't all rainbow and sparkles. Now he had to work **and** study... And still he took his time to take care of me. To return some of his kindness, I liked to prepare dinner(even if my cooking-skills were below his) and once in a while studied together with him, helping him with whatever I could. Most of the time though, he was rather tired when he returned and just wanted to relax, stating that he had done enough work for the day.  
So today was one of those days, where we aimlessly lay on the couch as some drama was playing on TV. We sat rather close to each other, but didn't quite touch. The comfortable silence was broken at some point.  
"You know, I've been thinking about something."  
I teared my eyes away from the screen where some girl was hyperventilating over a back hug, and instead looked at Lay, to signalize I was listening.  
"The things you see... They never speak, right? Since they're made from light. I've noticed you never mistrust things that talk to you, right?"  
I gave an affirmative hum, not quite sure where this was going.  
"Still you seemed more than skeptical when I first approached you."  
"Oh. Yeah, I think I remember." I scratched my head in thought. "It's difficult to explain... I never consciously realized that my hallu-... That the mirages didn't make any sound. It was more of a subconscious thing, that I only fully realized when we talked about it. Besides that, my doubts were justified-", I tried to lighten the mood with a cheeky voice, "Considering you never really paid attention to me, it has been kinda surreal for you to suddenly sit down across me."  
Lay averted his eyes from the screen to look at me. "You're wrong on that one. I did pay attention. I've always done so." His tone was serious and I looked into his eyes for a second longer than probably appropriate.  
Somehow I didn't know what to make of it. So I hit him in the side so suddenly, he almost lost his balance, a surprised expression on his face. "Of course you did! It's okay, I know I'm fabulous, don't feel bad about it~", I said in a sing-song voice, sticking out my tongue at him while flipping back my hair in an exaggerated move.  
"Yeah, you sure are.", he answered in an almost amused voice, rubbing his arm with a smile.  
Again, I could absolutely not figure out whether he was being serious or just mocking me.

It turned out that Lay really was different from what he seemed to be. While living together I came to the conclusion that the saying 'More than what meets the eye' would have Lay's picture under it in a Thesaurus. Yes, he was usually calm and airy, rather forgetful and kind to anyone. But that should not be mistaken for being without ambition or aspiration. If there was something he deemed fight-worthy, he would stand in for it. Though he was hard-working, even he didn't have everlasting patience, and sometimes put away everything to relax. Sometimes he'd also lay down all the work in favour of spending time with me.  
But the most interesting thing about Lay was, that he was actually pretty playful.  
You just never knew with him. Whether he was joking or not, teasing you or not.  
The problem is, you see, this trait also applied to me.  
Soon we started teasing each other relentlessly. It was a game with unwritten rules - Who would take a step back first? Who would shy away first? Who'd apologize first?  
People rarely played along with me to that extent, so it was always kinda thrilling to see how far I could push him. When I would touch his forearm to feel safe he'd say things like: "You know, you can also just take my hand already." and I'd retort with fake exasperation: "Are we on that base already? I thought hand-holding was reserved for the later episodes!", referring to the Drama-series we watched together. "Oh, you can just as well wait until I grab your hand, but that would make you the princess, you know that?", he'd answer with a smile. With a "Tss." I'd reach for his hand, intertwining my fingers with his. "That officially makes you the heroine. Bid goodbye to your free will and say hello to all the back-hugs and surprise kisses you'll get." "But it's not a surprise if you kindly warn me like that now, is it?" His eyes just had that certain twinkle at times. "So surprise me, then. I'll be on my guard." And with a mischievious smile I'd suddenly tug him down to blow air into his ear. He squirmed terribly and I laughed. Shouldn't have told me about that weakness of his.  
Even I lost track on when our teasing turned into flirting.  
I didn't even know how much of me was merely fooling around and how much was fueled by genuine interest.

His sensitive ear and neck weren't the only weaknesses I knew of him.  
The other one was not to laugh about, though. There was one evening, when Lay came home, looking exceptionally strained and tired. When I asked him what was wrong, he seemed to hesitate, before stating he was tired. His other responses were even shorter and he immediately went to take a shower and go straight to bed after, firmly rolled into his blankets. Already in my pajamas, I started tugging at his blanket. "Yah."  
"Baekhyun please, I'm just tired, let's talk tomorrow.", I heard the muffled response but wouldn't have it. So I tugged a little harder. "Yaa~ah... Lay. Make some space for me." A tousled brown head appeared out of the depths of blankets, his red eyes shooting me a confused glance. "...What?"  
I took the chance of his confusion to pull back the blanket and huddle myself beneath it, not hesitating to pull Lay into my arms. His body went a little stiff. Probably I was overstepping borders again, but I couldn't help myself upon seeing him suffer like that. I lay a little higher on the sofa, so I could tug his head under my chin and easily reached out to comfortingly stroke his soft hair. I could feel him blinking rapidly and his fluttering eyelashes brushed against my clavicle.  
"What happened, Lay?", I asked quietly.  
For a few moments he didn't say anything. When he did, though, his voice was a little raspy and strained. "I... Today... I failed. I lost someone." His body tensed up even more and I grabbed him a little more tightly. Lay's voice was neutral now, as if he was just at a loss with himself.  
"She was so young. Even her little brother made it. Her internal bleeding was so severe. But still, I should have-"  
"You should have done only one thing. And that was trying. Which you did.", I stated calmly.  
Again, a moment of silence followed.  
"The little boy will never see his big sister again.", he whispered.  
I could tell by the sudden warmth, that he had begun to cry silently. My hand softly and slowly rubbed his shoulders, his back, his neck.  
"But the boy will come home to loving parents.", I finally whispered, "And the parents will have someone to cook a warm meal for, everyday."  
His breath grew a little more irregular as he started to let go of his emotions.  
I pressed a kiss to his hair. "You did everything you could. And you managed to save a person's life, which is the most precious thing. Don't forget that. You're already selfless, but don-"  
"I'm not selfless.", he intervened firmly, pulling himself a little away from me to look me in the eye. The tears hadn't stopped and he had an almost accusing look. "Don't tell me I'm selfless. 'Cause I'm not. Don't say I'm all humble and only care for others, because I don't. I'm not all that good." I had never seen him so vulnerable before. There was an underlying desperation in his voice.  
"I'm actually selfish, you know. I'm really selfish.", he repeated as if trying to convince me of that fact. Thoughtfully I looked at him, before nodding lightly.  
"Okay.", I said, so quiet it was almost a whisper. Lay nodded lightly with an unreadable expression, his voice turning even more quiet than mine.  
"Okay."  
Then I softly pulled him back and he didn't resist this time around.  
Seconds turned to minutes and soon we had been lying there for half an hour, the silence broken by nothing but the sound of his pajamas' fabric I was drawing soothing circles on.  
We were both very much awake, though. Finally I decided to speak up, not being able to leave it at that after all.  
"You know,", I began quietly, "being selfish is kinda alright."  
His hand that had been on my arm for quite some time, tightened. Even though I could tell he didn't want to talk about it, I had to.  
"Striving for things we want is alright. Only thinking of others, having no own desires, it wouldn't even be natural, now would it?  
You have an _amazing_ gift, which is designed for helping people. You could use it to help your friends only, leading a free and fun life. You could use it to gain wealth, fame, anything really.  
Still, you chose to become a person that tries to aid anybody that needs help. You don't do it because you want something in return. And that's what makes you a good person." I gently nuzzled my cheek into his hair. "You have flaws, wishes, hopes and fears. You're not the perfect image of something, but that's okay. Because you're real.  
And I accept that."  
This time the squeeze he gave me felt like a good one and he leaned his head into the crook of my neck, leaving a feathering kiss, so light I almost didn't feel it. Almost.  
He didn't say another word, but soon I could hear his even breathing telling me he had finally managed to fall asleep.  
(Leaving me to listen to the rapid heartbeat of my stupid self, that very belatedly got aware of the close proximity I had insisted on)

We never spoke about that night again, but that was alright. Everything had been said.  
The next thing I found out about Lay which I found very interesting indeed... Came surprisingly from Chanyeol.  
"You know what I've heard?", he began one day, on our way through the schools' hallways.  
I playfully waved our linked arms, feeling energetic and having a rather good day with only a few illusions.  
"Tell me~!"  
"I heard that Lay is quite the dancer!" I looked at my best friend in disbelieve. "Really now?"  
I got a thoughtful nod in response. "Yeah, he goes to Clubs regularly and dances like 'sex on legs', or so I've heard~"  
When I thought about it... Lay did went out with his friends every Friday, but I didn't know he was the type to go clubbing. Still, how would Chanyeol even know that in the first place? I glanced at him suspiciously.  
"And who is this mysterious source, if I may ask?" His smile got a little brighter, if that was even possible.  
"You can ask all you want but I - won't - tell - you - my Dear Baekkie~!", he singsonged, waving our arms rythmically. I half-heartedly punched him with our linked arms.  
"You're such an ass."  
"Don't be sad, your ass is nice as well."  
Another hit. Then the curiosity got the better of me and I stopped abusing my poor best friend. Who immediately sensed the change in atmosphere.  
"What is it, Baek?"  
I collected all the aegyo I could muster and looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Yeollie...~"  
Immediate panic settled on his expression. "What... Oh, no. Nope. Don't tell me you-"  
"I wanna go to a Club to see him~"  
"Absolutely not. No."  
"But Yeollieee~", I begged, dragging his name out even more and pulling on his sleeves. "It's been forever since we went to a club...!"  
"Yeah, no. I won't take a light-sensitive person into a club. That'd be madness."  
"I'll stay by your side, just for a little while, come ooo~n...!"  
"Over my dead body. I will NOT take you to a club, Baek. That's final."

When we entered the club I was still vaguely wondering, where Chanyeol got his accurate information anyway. Oh, well. As always I held onto his left arm lightly, when we pushed through the people. The bass was pumping so loudly, I could feel it from my toes, over my stomache, up to my ears. Even though I did have a rather good day, all the flashing light made me a little fuzzy. Maybe that was what it felt like to be on LSD. There were more colors and lights than probably advisable. Still, I was enjoying myself - After all I really loved music. We positioned ourselves at the bar, with Chanyeol ordering something alcohol-free for me(Even though he got over himself he still insisted on treating me like porcelain), and a beer for himself. We comfortably sat on the high stools for a bit, soaking in the atmosphere.  
The music was pretty nice. When I closed my eyes to keep the colorful distractions away, I found myself slightly bouncing along. Chanyeol next to me was even more hyper than usual, since he had had a gig before we came here. I could feel how hard it was for him to keep still and not to bounce around. It seems that he invested his energy into something useful for once, as he soon tapped my shoulder and leaned towards my ear.  
"There, I got him! Do you see him?!", he shouted over the music.  
God, I hoped I would be able to see him. If not, everything would have been pointless. I followed his gaze.  
"With the black jeans and white shirt?!", I shouted back and Chanyeol nodded. It seemed that today was my lucky day. I even got the colors right. The dark jeans was pretty tight, showing off those legs I had always found suspiciously muscular. Additionally he wore a white shirt with a black print on it I couldn't make out, and simple sneakers. His hair was only slightly styled to look a little messy. I nodded to myself in acknowledgement. Effortless, I expected nothing less. Then another song started and he took a few steps onto the dance floor and started to move his body along to the music. And... Damn.  
Like... Damn. I was totally aware that I was blatantly staring at him but Chanyeol, being my best friend for a reason, gaped along with me, finally stating what I had been thinking.  
"...Damn it."  
I nodded without closing my mouth.  
"He's... Good. Like... really, **really** good." I nodded again. His movements were precise and controlled, yet his face looked relaxed, making everything seem that much more effortless. After a while the DJ switched the song and the familiar sound of 'Rainism' boomed through the club, making me bounce a little in my seat with excitement. I just loved Rain and wished I could jump to the dance floor in that instant. What I got instead was probably even better. Whereas the last song had been pretty hiphop-ish, this one was sexy. And Lay adapted with no hesitation. Those body rolls. Those hands that almost teasingly slid over his own body. The provocative and bold expression... I really started to feel more than a little hot under the collar. Well, from my friends I know that my way of dancing is considered pretty ...promiscuous, to say the least. But this was so on a different level.  
 It was as if he had turned into a completely different person and - damn(yeah, there was no other word that came to my mind, I was uneducated like that)-, this person was **hot**.  
And even though he was dancing very seductively, he was dancing alone mostly. Once in a while he was joined by one guy who was probably the friend he told me about, but I didn't know him. Overall he seemed to dance for himself, and politely refused people that came too close for comfort.  
I was so captivated, I kept on staring at him for maybe 5 more songs(or longer?), until he went to another bar to probably get a glass of water or something like that. Then I turned to Chanyeol, who seemed a little absent, typing on his phone. He probably got bored. I nudged him to get his attention.  
"Okay, my curiosity has been satisfied - We can go home now if you want!", I called into his ear. The slightly reluctant glint in his eyes surprised me. When we were out in the cool streets again I breathed in the fresh air gratefully. Then I looked up at my friend. "I'll take a taxi, alright? You go back in." His eyes widened in surprise and he held up his hand in refusal. "No, no, don't be silly. I'll walk you home."  
I forcefully put down his hand, sternly saying: "You don't need to walk me home, I'm not your date, Yeollie. The taxi will bring me right to my doorstep, and I can take the stairs alone. Don't worry about me." Even though reluctant, I wouldn't let his protesting voice get to me.  
"Go back in and waste all your spare energy~! Oh, by the way - you have the house to yourself, but don't do anything I wouldn't~", I said, giving him a suggestive wink, that was met with a roll of his big eyes.  
When I was finally alone in the backseat of the taxi, I tried to cool down the furious blush on my cheeks with my own cold hands. Now I definitely wasn't sure whether I could look at Lay the same way ever again. Out of nowhere the image of one particular hip-thrust came to my mind. I couldn't help but wonder if he would have danced with me like that as well. He never refused my advances after all, right? The feeling of those sinful hips against mine...  
Squirming in my seat I patted my cheeks one more, but the blush accompanied me for the rest of the night.

Regardless to say that our teasing became a tad more... Heated after that. However far I went, Lay would never back out. And I just felt like going a little further after that episode at the club. One evening I joined him in the living room, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Honey, I cut you some watermelons~ ", I said jokingly while offering him a plate of said fruit that had been cut into small cubes, ideal as finger-food. Watermelon was rather expensive, but I knew he liked it, so I bought some as a surprise. His eyes lightened up a bit, before they got that twinkle I liked so much. "What, shouldn't you feed me this? What kind of a loving wife are you?", he asked with a teasing smile. "Of course, silly me...", I began, fishing out one piece and held it up to him, inching unnecessarily closer. "Say 'ah'~" Obediently he opened his mouth and took the fruit from my fingers, humming in satisfaction at the taste. When his lips touched the tips of my fingers, I almost blushed. But I wouldn't back down, never. So I fed him piece by piece, effectively hiding the effect he had on me. After feeding him the last piece, he licked his lips(which I totally didn't notice) and smiled at me happily. "Thank you, it was delicious~"  
I tried not to coo at him, when my attention fell to my now more than sticky fingers. In mock exhasparation I moved them up for him to see. "You say that now, but you didn't even eat it all!" He retorted with a very good imitation of guilt.  
"Of course you're right. Pardon me, Mylady.", he said and before I could make a further move, he lightly grasped my hand to bring it to his lips. I held my breath, when he took one of my fingers into his mouth, softly lapping away the melon juice with his warm tongue. I didn't dare to move a muscle and just stared at him. His mouth felt so warm and his tongue so wet against my fingers... Lay took his time, thoroughly nipping and licking at every finger dutifully, even having the nerve to hum lightly once in a while and close his eyes, until every bit of juice was gone. As well as every single logical thought in my brain.  
We looked into each others eyes for a few seconds and I knew my face was scarlet. And I knew that he knew it, as well. After what felt like forever, I took my hand from his grasp and got up. "N-now they're even more wet than before!", I stammered lamely; That marked the first time he had ever managed to make me stutter like that. And when he only gave me a salacious smile in response, shrugging his shoulders innocently, I turned away to hide my glowing cheeks and stalked into the kitchen to wash my hands.  
Damn you, Lay. You may have won today, but I would get back at you the next time!  
 

In the meantime, my examinations all remained fruitless. Even though I managed my daily life mostly without struggles, it became frustrating. After understanding my illusions better, it was easier to live with them, but I still heavily relied on Chanyeol and Lay. Furthermore my dream of becoming an idol became more and more distant. I couldn't even get a part-time job, nevermind a real job. And there were still times when I'd suffer from some form of panic attack due to severe illusions. At those times, even Chanyeol found it hard to sooth me. Lay would always manage it, but it took time, and I knew he would grow tired of it eventually.  
So it was safe to say it was not all sunshine and sparkles at all times. One afternoon I even managed to get into a terrible fight with Lay. It had been a horrible day where I had picked the wrong dress shirt to my uniform for I had mistaken the color. The teachers were not amused, to say the least. By mistake I had put sugar on my meal in the morning, making it inedible. Topping it all of my illusions had been running wild all day, causing me several embarrassing moments not even Chanyeol could have saved me from. Ending early, I returned in the late afternoon from my latest pointless examination to find Lay in the living room, reading a textbook. He had just asked if there were new results, but I had a snappy tone when I denied. Lay seemed driven to further talk about my sickness, but I wasn't. "I don't understand how nothing seems off, not even the least bit.", he said thoughtfully. "Well, maybe I'm not that retarded after all.", I retorted sarcastically. Lay put his textbook down to look at me.  
"I don't think you're retarded.", he simply stated, but I remained put-off.  
"Well, obviously I am! Or maybe I'm some evolutionary joke, whose power tries to just extinct itself for the better, who knows?", I said, throwing my hands in the air. Lay's eyes narrowed slightly. "What's wrong, Baek?", he asked. Still there was nothing hostile in his voice, but I lashed out nevertheless. Because yeah, I could be ugly like that.  
"What? Is it not acceptable for me to be unhappy for once? It's not all that fun to mistake a book for bag or to use shampoo instead of body wash because I'm too freakin' stupid to tell the difference anymore! But as your pet I should probably behave, right? Will I get my collar soon?" Now it was Lay's turn to speak and even though he didn't move from his seat, his voice was a little more tense than usual.  
"You're not my pet. Why would you think that?"  
I just scowled, not even bothering to keep down my voice. "Well, maybe because even though you can heal you never even tried to use it on me. Not. Even. Once! So, there are two options - One: You think I'm retarded, which you just said you don't, which brings me to option Two. So let me ask you, is it that fun to keep me around?!" A flicker of hurt passed his eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by me. Still, his voice sounded composed and stable.  
"You can't hurt me with words like that, Baekhyun."  
He didn't tell me to leave if I wanted to. He didn't even offer that.  
Maybe I really would have left in that moment. Grabbed my clothes and left.  
But he didn't.  
And so I still stood there, looking in the face of someone who never did anything but to genuinely care for me.  
"Oh really now? Lay, your facade doesn't work on me anymore, of course I can see you're hurt!", I snapped, my voice provoking, "You're probably re-thinking your decision to take care of me now, don't you? Since you now know I'm that ugly of a person. I make a horrible pet, you see? As I'd make a horrible friend, and an even more horrible lover, and I know I'm being unreasonable and I can assure you, I hate myself **much** more than you could ever manage to!", I ended, tearing at my hair in desperation. Lay had slowly risen from the couch, taking a few steps towards me.  
"It's ok, Baekhyun."  
"Yeah, you can always say that, can't you? It's not okay. It's just not. I'm not okay. I'll just... Argh!", I ended with a frustrated noise, reaching for the bag I had thrown to the ground along the way and wanting to leave the apartment for now. Until then I had never seen Lay move so fast, as in that particular moment when he grabbed my forearm tightly.  
"No.", he simply stated.  
"...Stay."  
I tried to break free, but his hold on me was as firm as his gaze. "I don't like it when conflicts remain in the air."  
I stopped struggling and looked at him, my vision blurry with tears.  
"Then what do you want me to do now? There is nothing more to talk about. Look, just leave me alone for a while, I feel just so ugly...", I almost begged. But Lay wouldn't have it.  
With his free hand, he took the bag from my hand, setting it down again. Then he smiled at me.  
"Let's take a nap."  
"...What?"  
But I had heard correctly. Lay began to slowly tug me into the bedroom, and I didn't resist at all, being crushed by my own heavy thoughts and the confusion over Lay's behavior. When we stood in the bedroom, Lay positioned me to stand in front of the bed and signalized me to wait. He shortly rummaged to his closet and came back with two of his pajamas. Laying them on the bed he reached for my pullover. "W-what the- I can undress myse-", but Lay only made a quiet shushing noise and gently, but firmly, batted my hands away. Then he slowly began to remove my pullover, and then my T-Shirt. I was so damn confused, what was even going on? But there was nothing sexual about the way he treated me. He used a tissue to softly dry my tears, before slipping the sleepwear over my head, obviously concentrating on his task only. His movements were soft and careful. I understood that this was his weird way of expressing that he still cared for me, that the fight didn't change that. He gently tugged at the sleeves until they were in place. All the time his gaze didn't leave my body and the soft affection I could see made my cheeks even warmer than they had been in the first place (from crying). Even though I was probably the most ugly person on the planet right now, he still treated me as if I was precious. He quietly insisted on also dressing me into my pants, which flustered me inwardly, but I refused to show it. When he gave me an approving look and turned away to get changed himself, I snatched the pajama from his hands before he had a chance to stop me. "You're such a weirdo.", I said without real malice, gesturing him to turn back to me, so I could equally dress him into his sleepwear. Lay only smiled.  
When we later lay in bed, turned to each other and hands intertwined, he still smiled.  
He attempted to just go to sleep, but I had to apologize first. Still... where to start?  
"Lay." He opened his eyes, silently looking at me.  
"I lied."  
He smiled. There was no question asked.  
"I know.", he simply said.  
After some hesitation, I added quietly:  
"I don't want to leave."  
Again he took a moment of watching me, before answering.  
"I don't want you to leave, either."  
The words made me feel warm and... Just loved. So I wordlessly squeezed his hand and also smiled.  
Still, as always I couldn't resist it.  
"Arguing with you is impossibly tedious."  
Lay chuckled with closed eyes.  
"I've been told so."

"Hyung, over here~!"  
Chanyeol and I turned to see the owner of the voice sitting at a table in the back. It had been quite some time since I'd had time to meet up with Kai.  
Even though I considered Kai to be one of my friends, I hadn't told him about my current predicament, because... He was my precious little dongsaeng and I was the reliable Hyung. Even though not extremely younger than me, he was still such a fluffy ball of innocent and good-natured cuteness, I couldn't help but pick on him ever since I first laid eyes on him in our afterclasses. My favorite nickname for him was 'Puppy', for he was just that. _Adorable_.  
So I let go of Chanyeols arm to step to their table, reaching over to squish his (adorable) cheeks. "Aww, Kai, long time no see~!" "Hyung...!", he whined(adorably), sporting a small (aaand yes, you guessed correctly; adorable) blush.  
I just cooed and sat down across him, as Chanyeol sat beside me. Only then I noticed the other person sitting next to Kai. I threw a glance to Chanyeol. Okay, he saw him as well.  
"Why hello?", I said in a curious tone. The blonde stranger was pretty handsome.  
"Uhm, Hyung, this is my friend Tao. He had his first day at our school today." Tao bowed overly polite and said in an accented, lightly shaking voice: "N-nice to meet you. I will try hard not to be a burden." Right, that's why I had never seen him before. Come to speak of it, his tie was dark red. Only gifted ones had dark red ties. I leaned forward a little more, to see a golden 'S' at the bottom. My eyebrows rose at the sight. When I looked at him, he seemingly tried to somehow shrink into his seat - A vain attempt, considering his height.  
"Not bad, an S-Level, huh?" Tao's right hand fidgeted with his straw nervously.  
"Y-yes. B-but I'm not dangerous.", he hastily assured, tripping over his own words.  
For a few seconds I looked suspiciously between Kai and this new friend of his, who both seemed to hold in their breath, anticipating my reaction.  
Kai probably thought I wouldn't notice his hand under the table, but I knew he usually drank with his right hand.  
So where was this right hand now~?  
Finally I couldn't hold it in anymore and cooed even more loudly, making them jump in surprise.  
"Awww! My puppy found himself a friend! Yeollie, look at this... They grow up so fast. Now he's already introducing me to his boyfriend." While Chanyeol chuckled, Kai grew beet-red and was quick to deny it.  
"No, Hyung, no! You're misunderstanding something!" Even Tao's cheeks were dusted pink. "Yeah, now you think of it...", I began, head cocked to the side in thought, "Hm... Yeah. Now you say it, I can see where I'm wrong. ...my puppy found himself a _kitten_ ~ And an adorable one on top of that. I always knew you had a good taste." Kai gave his best to shush me, but embarrassing him in front of his new friend was just too much fun to let up. After talking for a while I decided I liked the kitten and it made a very good match for my puppy Kai. When we parted I asked Kai to accompany me to the hospital, for Chanyeol was busy. As an excuse I told him I was just going to visit my grandmother(sorry grandma). Kai probably took it as me wanting to talk to him in private, so he didn't resist too much.  
"You know, he really isn't my boyfriend.", he blurted out, no later than 30 seconds after we had been alone. Despite the fact that I missed having the reassuring touch of someone as an anchor to reality, I smiled at him.  
"Yet.", I said teasingly. Even though I seemed light-hearted, I concentrated a lot on the noise around me. Kai was directly next to me, I just shouldn't lose him.  
He blushed. "Yeah... Yet."  
I refrained from cooing again for I needed to keep my concentration. "He seems like a good boy, though."  
"Yeah... He is." God, if this dreamy look in Kai's eyes was no illusion, that boy was sooo gone. "Anyways,", Kai began, "Hyung, you're getting better, aren't you? You won't stay at the hospital for too long?"  
"W-what?"  
"Hyung, I'm not that oblivious. Your grandma lives hours away from here."  
Oops, had I ever mentioned that? I can totally imagine my grandma snickering in triumph, pointing her finger and me and saying: 'That's what you get for lying, boy!'  
"I... I'm gonna be alright. I really just want to visit someone, though." Kai hummed, not asking any further.  
When we stood in front of the hospital, I said my goodbyes to Kai.  
"I hope you'll bring your kitten along at the next afterclasses, I'm sure he'd love to watch you doing all the stretching and warm-ups~", I winked at him. Even though Kai blushed again, he leaned forward a bit, as if telling me a secret, speaking in a hushed and serious voice.  
"I can do so, but will you really notice, though, Hyung? Next weekend Lay Hyung is gonna be there, after all..." Then he gave me a sassy grin and a wave, disappearing in a black cloud of smoke, leaving me to gasp incredulously.  
This. Brat. Today's youth, unbelievable!  
It seems I have taught him a little too well.

When I left the room of my savior, who was still sleeping soundly, I felt weighed down as always. I would never stop hoping for him to wake up. Slowly I strode towards the end of the hallway, intending to wait for Lay's shift to end. It was only early afternoon, but I knew Lay had been working for over ten hours now. He was probably pretty exhausted by now. My recently well-trained ears picked up on angry shouting, when behind me a door opened to reveal Lay, leaving the room. He was followed by an angry man who slammed the door shut violently and continuously yelled at the Chinese man, who tiredly held onto his papers.  
"If you're a healer, then **why don't you fucking heal her, then?!** ", he boomed loudly, his face red with anger, "My daughter is in pain, don't you see that?!" Unnoticed by Lay, I inched closer to the situation.  
"Healing broken bones is very painful, Sir. Healing all at once is not advisable.", Lay calmly answered. The man dismissed that without comment, just shouting even louder and stepping closer towards Lay. "She keeps screaming, would you want to hear your daughter screaming?!" "A lot of her agony are actually withdrawal symptoms, it will take a while until-"  
"So why don't you fix those, first?! Who knows when the pain of your crazy procedures will drive her into hurting herself again!" When he took another step forwards Lay, I stepped in between them, lightly pushing Lay backwards, who gave me a surprised look. The man looked hideous and that surely wasn't an illusion.  
I couldn't remember feeling that angry in a long time.  
"What the hell is your problem?!", I broke out aggressively.  
"You'd rather want your daughter to collapse or possibly die of too much pain at once?! Can you even imagine how painful it is to get a broken bone mended? No?! Well yeah, me neither! So we should just suck it up because it's about her alone!"  
The man looked at me speechlessly, but when he opened his mouth I was quick to interrupt him. "Instead you're pretentiously whining about her pain when you're not even with her to endure it! You managed to disregard your daughter so long, you failed to notice she was stuck with an addiction and even now you don't take the situation seriously!"  
I felt Lays hand on my arm. "Baekhyun. It's alright. He is just suffering as well.", he said, and my head flew around to look him. His tired face didn't betray any form of hurt, but I would never forget the curled crying figure I held.  
"No, it's simply _not_ alright!"  
I didn't remove his hand, but my voice still trembled with anger, when I looked back at the man that had gotten even more red, but also more quiet. "You might be suffering, but obviously not to the point that you'd try to change your situation. It's easy to shout at other people to do the work, huh? Obviously you're not desperate enough yet to try saving your own sorry ass, or that of anyone else for that matter - Stop shouting at someone who actually _does_ something to make your daughter feel better, and go to support her yourself!" The guy stared at me, but the fire in my eyes rivaled his' easily, and he suddenly turned to stomp away without another word.  
My breathing was still ragged, and my body slightly shaking of anger.  
"Baekhyun. You shouldn't have done that." Wordlessly, I turned to look at Lay, who looked a little uncomfortable.  
"...Is your shift over now?" "Well, technically yes-"  
"-Then go get your coat and give those papers away. Let's go home. I wanna eat Ramyun but I'm bad at it, so you gotta help me.", I stated firmly, tugging him along.  
"And after that you're gonna rest until I have the fun and sassy Lay back."  
Smiling, he let himself be dragged along by me.

It was that evening when I experienced a horrible panic attack. We were just attempting to go to sleep, but while Lay was in the shower and I had just put off my shirt to dress into my pajamas, it hit me. Hard. I suddenly held something gross in my hand, letting it fall to the floor immediately. There was a flurry of painful colors everywhere, clouding my mind. Psychedelic patterns on the floor, color splashes on the walls, blood on my hands, it was all too much. I saw movements of things that were inching closer to me. That was when I started screaming. Not even a minute later Lay crouched down next to me, possibly only clad in a towel and with soap bubbles on his body, but there was no way for me to tell. I grabbed his arms so tightly that I probably scratched him deeply. "Shh, Baekhyun. It's me, Lay."  
Then the things started to creep up Lay's skin as well and my screaming and trashing got a little more hysteric.  
"Lay - Lay - It's on you - it's on your skin! Please...", I whimpered, "Please, I don't want to hurt you - Lay, please just let me go, give me five minutes, it'll pass, I-"  
"Close your eyes, Baekhyun. You trust me, don't you? Close your eyes."  
His voice was calm and stable, the only stable thing in my life at that point.  
"B-b-but the darkness... I don't like the dark, I won't know what they're doing-"  
"I'll tell you what's happening. Let me be your eyes. And rest yours now. Baekhyun.", his soothing voice flooded my brain. "Close your eyes." Shaking like a leaf, I obeyed and pressed my eyes close, my breath coming in short, violent heaves. "That's good. You're doing good, Baekhyun. It's almost over." I heard his voice slowly saying reassuring nonsense that was only dimly registered in my brain. "The room is empty and there is only you and me in here. It's not dark, and those hands on your arms are mine only. I won't let anything touch you.", Indeed my arms felt warm. There was more warmth in front of me. I tried to concentrate on that warmth only and even though my grasp around Lay's arms was tight enough to bruise, he didn't flinch away.  
"You're... Warm...", I mumbled.  
Suddenly I felt a different warmth on my shoulder, a more pleasurable one.  
I sighed softly. The warmth traveled up my shoulder, and onto my neck. My sigh turned into a soft moan when it tingled over a sensitive spot close to my ear. the warmth ghosted over my ear, making my breath hitch, and then it was on my cheek, slowly inching closer, until my slow brain finally managed to progress what was going on.  
"No... Wait. No-", I stammered, and mustered all of my strength to push Lay away from me. Opening my eyes took a lot of effort and even though most psychedelic colors had faded, anything that wasn't Lay was a rather blurry mess. My thoughts were still hazy, and I tried to focus on his expression. I had rarely seen Lay look apologetic, and never to that extent. Biting his lip, he lowered his gaze.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I took advantage of you. I just-... I'm really sorry."  
"N-no, that's not it.", I muttered, waiting for him to look back at me, however hideous I probably looked at that moment. I tried my best to talk evenly, fighting the exhaustion. "I just... don't want our first kiss to be like that. I'm a mess right now. I'd b-barely register it. And I don't want it to happen like this."  
Lay looked a little surprised and I even thought I saw a rare blush lightly dusting his cheeks.  
He nodded quietly and went back to holding me, like I was a truly precious thing.

Lay had respected my wish, which I was thankful for. Still, when we left together the next day during the special afterclasses to get some drinks for everyone, I was more than surprised to find myself suddenly pressed up against a wall.  
He didn't ask me any stupid question. He didn't even say anything, really. He just swept me around a corner, pressed me against that wall by my shoulders and kissed me.  
It wasn't a mere sweet peck, either.  
His kisses were slow, yet hard and full of passion. All the while his body was pressed up closely against mine, emitting a heat that made me dizzy. One of his hands sneaked up behind my head to prevent me from hitting my head on the wall; and to keep me close. Not that I was trying to go anywhere. My whole being was occupied with responding to him.  
I might add I'm not exactly the sissy-type of lover, either.  
And it was probably me who added tongue to our kiss first.  
Contrasting to his almost dominating behavior, I didn't fail to notice his free hand gliding down my body featheringly, until he reached my hand and intertwined our fingers softly, almost carefully. It made me smile into the kiss and grasp his fingers lightly.  
When we parted minutes later, both panting lightly from lack of air and arousal at the same time, he leaned against me with less pressure, his head next to mine as he whispered in my ear, his lips touching my ear.  
"Was that an acceptable first kiss?"  
I closed my eyes, breathing heavily.  
"Yeah."  
My hands wandered up from his waist to lie on his shoulder.  
"Although... We might need to repeat this. Just to make sure."  
Just to make sure this time round **I'd** be the one to press **him** against that wall.

I didn't fail to notice Kai's almost smug grin, after his eyes had flitted down to my kiss-swollen lips.  
Just you laugh now, little one. My time for revenge will come.

December came and brought Christmas-feelings for everyone. The days became dark and cold, causing people to put up lights, take a hot drink and huddle under a blanket with their loved one.  
...Or so they said on television. Well, unfortunately the light-part proved itself to be true. Artificial light was far more triggering than natural light, so I highly disapproved of all those.  
It had been a late afternoon in mid-december, when I had decided to pick up Lay from the hospital. He had been working overtime again and didn't even return home the night before. To be honest, I was a little lonely and worried about his health. He might be healing his own body unconsciously but we'd learned by now that he couldn't cure the mind, neither could he erase tiredness. I was determined to take him home. With the weapon of a load full of aegyo, the proposition of a home-cooked meal, and - if necessary - brutal force. Lay needed to rest as well and no old geezer was going to stop me from taking him away. Since I was kinda short on money I decided against a taxi, and dared to walk there. It had been a long time since my last panic attack, and an even longer time that I'd been out alone like that. I took a while to take in the fresh air and then took my mobile phone for directions, so I wouldn't get lost. Still, sometimes even my mobile phone screen was unreadable for me, but no worries - I plugged in my earphones, so the directions would be read out loud. At that time I had gone long past the embarrassment of feeling handicapped, knowing that my safety came first.  
So I began my little journey. The way wouldn't even be long, only a fifteen minutes walk.  
Even though I had been plagued by a vague headache all day, I hummed quietly to myself, happily looking forward to meeting Lay. Everything went exceptionally well - There was a lonely road, no people, no lights-  
And then the community deemed it dark enough to turn on the Cities' complete Christmas lighting, consisting of dozens, possibly hundreds of chain lights entangled in every bare-branched tree to both my sides.  
I would have been so thankful if the world would have just turned black right then.  
But it didn't.  
 

* * *

  
I was almost jogging into the changing room, flinging my white coat carelessly into the locker and putting on my shoes hastily. I needed to see Baekhyun, as soon as possible.  
When I threw a glance to my mobile phone I saw a missed call from only a few minutes ago. Baek. He usually refrained from calling me at work, sending a text if necessary. While dressing into my coat, I pressed the phone to my ear, calling him back. It took a while, but when he finally picked up and his panic-filled voice flooded through the speakers, I froze for a second.  
"Lay. I-I'm sorry, I- I wen't out, and then the lights and- I didn't know there would be lights- and now the things are coming to take me and-" "Baekhyun. Where are you?", I exclaimed, as calm as possible.  
I definitely wouldn't hang up to locate his phone, I didn't dare to.  
"I...", his ragged breathing filled my speakers and I almost ran out of the hospital, all the way trying to coax his location out of him. "I just wanted to- to take you home, and they're all crawling on the floor and-"  
"Don't. Move. Baekhyun, don't move. Can you close your eyes?" He whimpered.  
"Close your eyes, Baekhyun, do it for me. They can't touch you if you close your eyes.  
You just have to be brave. I know you're very brave. Can you tell me where you are?"  
"...I'm trying.", more ragged breathing. "I'm... I... Started from home. And I used the mobile phone map. B-but... Not the big streets, I took a route w-with no cars and n-no people." I desperately searched my brain for whichever way he might have possibly taken. There were quite some ways to go home from here. At least two were coming to my mind. "And there are trees right and left. A-and in the tree are light chains, so many eyes-"  
"It's ok, Baekhyun. I'll come and get you."  
I decided to take the route I was pretty confident in having an alley. Still, I wouldn't run in order to be able to continue talking to Baekhyun, who was still on a peak of panic. I encouraged him to keep talking, so as not to lose him.  
"I-I'm closing my eyes. Right now. Because I trust you. I know... they're not there, I know, b-but... They look so real and- I want to see you, because... You're real-"  
"Yes, I want to see you, too. I will, I'm almost there. Then I'll take your hand and we'll go home."  
"I... I don't want to be s-such a burden... But I want to take your hand, please. _Please_..."  
The way seemed agonizingly long, even though it was a mere five minute walk. When I found the alley, which was indeed decorated with thousands of tiny sparkling dots, I spotted Baekhyun immediately. He was curled up at the side of the road, luckily close enough to the curb as not to be hit by a passing car. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. Thank God he didn't move any further. I called out to him and pulled him into a deep embrace.  
"Baekhyun.", I said, in between holding his shaking frame firmly.  
"I think I know what happened to you. Maybe we can end your troubles now."  
With eyes full of unshed tears he looked at me. "Really?", he whispered.  
"Can you heal me now?" I shook my head lightly.  
"No, but I think you can heal yourself. After all, the power of light can heal as well."

The things I saw were terrifying. Still, Lay was next to me and held my hand firmly as he tugged me along, towards the hospital.  
The sight of being finally healed gave me the power to withstand curling into a ball, crying. I would be saved. And I'd be fighting for it. The world flew past me in a flurry of colors and I almost tripped multiple times, feeling disorientated. I had absolutely no idea what was going on, or how I'd be able to 'save myself'. But I had learned to trust Lay and didn't question him. Not even when we took a turn to enter the hospital's rather large park instead of the white (and illuminated) building. We stalked through the dry grass for a while, until Lay came to a stop.  
"Look,", he began, "I cannot guarantee that this is going to work, but it'd make all so much sense, and-" "What should I do?", I asked, a little shakily. Lay took a deep breath.  
"Use your gift."  
"H-huh? What for?"  
"You can illuminate things, right? Is it difficult to coat things with light?"  
I fidgeted with his sleeve. "W-well, a little but it's ok. But I'm not sure-"  
"Alright. Can you light things up for me? The grass, can you light it up?"  
"How far?"  
Lay looked me deep in the eye.  
"As far as you can."  
"I'm not sure if I-"  
"I'll stay here. If the lights get to you, I'll cover your eyes. I'll stay.", he repeated, taking my hand in both of his. Alright then. As I said, I trusted him. So I sank down onto my knees, taking my free right hand to touch the grass. It was dry, but soft. With eyes closed, I concentrated on sending light onto it. A dimly lit glow crawled up every single blade of grass, coating it gently. Soon, a few meters of grass around us was glowing lightly. It didn't cause me any trouble, I've always been good at using my power.  
"More, Baekhyun. As far as you possible can, please.", I heard Lay's voice, dulled by haze I was in.  
So I reached out farther...  
... and _farther_.  
I could feel wide meters of grass, and then the tiny stones on the pavement, framing the taller ones. The flowers with their petals, the stems of the trees and every little, every tiny branch...  
All the while, Lay's distant voice was brimming with excitement.  
"I knew it! I knew it, I just talked to Luhan, and he told me his gift was growing and - It just needed a way out! It's so obvious now, Baekhyun, extend it as far as you can-"  
At some point there was water, a few benches, and then, farther away, rows of cold stone walls, glass, metal...  
"Your power unconsciously only affected yourself, because you refuse to burden others, that's why we couldn't see any of it, it all makes sense, You're not a level 3, Baekhyun..."  
When I dispersed all the excess light into tiny dots into the air, and dared to open my eyes, we were immersed in light. I had never used so much of my power(because what for, really?), but the whole park was glowing softly, every bit of it illuminated in my light. I could even see a few nearby buildings(including the hospital) glowing in the distance. As far as my eyes could reach, light, light, light. But it didn't hurt my eyes, and I saw nothing but reality. My favorite piece of reality stared me into the eyes, with so many lights reflected in his brow orbs.  
"...You're a level 2, possibly even 1."  
Lay embraced the dumbfounded me tightly.  
"And you're amazing.", he said, kissing my forehead.  
I tried to chuckle. "Nonsense. You are the amazing one-...", and then exhaustion pulled me into the dark.  
 

It was a calm and quiet darkness, but you see, I never quite liked the dark.  
So I was eagerly looking forward to waking up; so I could put on some Christmas lights, make a hot chocolate and huddle myself under a blanket, next to my boyfriend.  
  
  
 

* * *

  
It was a rather gloomy day, grey clouds hanging in the sky, but bearing no rain. Yet.  
Still, a huge crowd of people was standing on the square, with their eyes glued to the improvised stage, where the next one in line went up to take the offered microphone.  
"Number 48 - Byun Baekhyun."  
" **You again**?!"  
"Did you honestly fly over to China just for the global casting?!"  
"Why yes, I did."  
"You couldn't wait for another few months?"  
"No, I couldn't."  
I could remember two of the three judges sitting in front of me. Unfortunately, they obviously remembered me as well.  
One of them sighed dramatically.  
"You. Why don't you just try going to another company, that accepts your... Type?"  
I gave them a blinding smile, but the look in my eyes was fierce and determined.  
"So everyone would one day find out I didn't make it into the best company? I'm not having it. Besides that, I still know there will always be a place for me at Park Entertainment."  
"Park Entertainment? Never heard of that."  
"Yet."  
The third judge said something in Chinese, sounding annoyed.  
The other sighed.  
"Fine, let's go through the formalities. Shortly introduce yourself and greet the audience.", he said in a bored voice.  
Totally undeterred, I turned around to face the crowd of people that always gathered at public auditions. Hundreds of curious boys and girls that wanted to catch a glimpse at possible future stars or cheer on their friends.  
"Hello everyone~!", I called out loudly, "My name is Byun Baekhyun, I'm 20 years old and currently attend the public Highschool in Seoul. I'm a gifted one on level 2, still growing, though.", the mumbles of the crowd began to increase, but I kept on talking confidently, having great fun communicating with the crowd.  
"I won't just tell you about all of my hobbies and ideal types yet, and my education is just as boring as yours is," - a few chuckles and approving nods from the crowd - "So instead I'll tell you a little something about my gift - That's what you're interested in right now anyway, aren't you?" More encouraging mumbles; when did you ever get the chance to see a gifted one displayed like that?  
"Even though all Fantasy-based games proclaim Light as an independent element, it's actually not, you know? It's actually sorted into a different department by the government - right next to awesome gifts like healing. Why do I know? Well, I know someone who heals. And one day he told me that I was in that category. I myself had always thought different, so I asked him: 'Why is it like that? What's even similar about our gifts?' - And I'll tell you what he answered me.  
He told me that he'd be able to heal the body, but Light is something that heals peoples' minds."  
At those words, I warmly gazed into the deep brown orbs of my certain someone, standing in the second row. Then I raised my head and voice, to talk to the whole audience again.  
"What do you think of that? You think he might've just said that to console me over the fact his power is more awesome than mine?", again, the crowd was fairly amused.  
"I'll leave it up to you to decide that.", I said in a challenging tone and turned to the jury.  
"I'm ready."  
"You get two minutes to display a special talent or dance, and another one and a half to sing."  
"I'll do it all, just start playing the song please. It should be named 'Thunder'."  
I changed my microphone for a headset and positioned myself. A short and dramatic intro started off my performance, full of a rather minimalist dance choreography with wide movements. Every single one of them was followed by a flow of light, which lingered in the air for only a few seconds, captivating the attention. Several soap bubble like figures made of light floated into the air and shattered dramatically on my last move, leaving shards of light to hover closely above the audience. Some even touched them, admiring their beauty.  
When the song began to play, I immersed myself into it. The choreography was simple, relying on charisma; with plenty of tempting movements and hip-focused moves. All the while I put my gift to use, moving the light shards to disappear into my fist, before letting them fly out with the next move.  
Of course the vocals were the most important thing, and I made sure to devote myself to them, singing the notes with technique and emotions.  
While this all sounds like a difficult multi-tasking mission, I was genuinely enjoying myself. This was what I lived for. Performing, making people happy, showing the results of my hard effort... I was confident, and didn't forget to show that for even a second, giving seductive looks and sassy grins.  
When my short performance ended I let the light explode into myriads of glowing dots that rained down onto the audience.  
The applause was loud and supporting. I turned to the judges. The Chinese one seemed excited, babbling some short phrases that were well received from the audience, but to fast for me to get them. The judges discussed for a while, and the grumpy judge finally spoke up.  
"You know, Mr. Byun... We don't like your attitude. You're arrogant and don't seem hard-working. Besides that it's still not possible to include gifted persons, seeing as we're not convinced you're in full control of it." The audience was booing respectively, the Chinese judge looked confused, and for a second I didn't say a word.  
Then I couldn't contain myself anymore and started laughing.  
The looks I received all said: ' _See, he's mad_.'  
I winked, smiled, and touched my lips to send them a metaphorical kiss that said: ' _You know what? Kiss my ass._ '  
"Your loss it is, then... See you on stage.", I said, smiling radiantly.  
Then I turned to the audience, raised my fist and repeated into my microphone:  
"You heard me? I'm Byun Baekhyun, and I'll see you all on stage! Thank you!"  
Then I returned the headset and, supported by the loudly cheering crowd, I stepped down from the podium.  
  
For now, that is.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Exploring these two characters was so much fun!  
> The main theme I had in mind for them was 'passion', by the way.  
> Again there were lots of Cameo's from other story lines!  
> Since they're all happening simultaneously, there are events that you've already read about in the TaoKai part, but also a bunch of other stuff that might be picked up on in the future chapters~
> 
> Thanks for reading up until this!  
> This story is pretty long and has a special place in my heart x3  
> Any form of feedback would definitely make me smile! ♥  
> Have a nice day everyone~


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